Spring Winter

Spring
winter
into the void
and take
my grumpiness
with you

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Deep Freeze

How profound it is
when the sidewalks turn into skating rinks
and the skating rinks are too cold for skating
and six sweaters are not enough
and people think they’re clever when they ask if it’s cold enough for you
and your toes hurt
and you forget what people look like with their faces uncovered
and ice cream is no longer that appealing
and everyone is talking about “Netflix and chill”
while obviously not understanding what that means

Winter Is Not Working

Winter is not working this year
every time it gets going
it gives up
and there are daffodils for a couple of days
and then it’s all like
grr
we’re doing this thing
we’re totally doing it
guys
guys
hey look
flurries
look at my flurries
so many flurries
oh crap we’re back to the daffodils again
NO REALLY THIS TIME I MEAN IT FLURRIES EVERYWHERE
aaaaaaand flowers
and it’s February
in Toronto
stupid contradictory groundhog

Blizzard Envy

Today is cold and sunny
but not that far to the south
crazy snow is falling crazy hard

We are experiencing blizzard envy
wishing we could have three feet of snow for once
though we’d complain about it if it happened

Tomorrow we are supposed to have flurries
but those don’t really count as snow
and will just be sort of sad

Winter is so unfair this year
dumping snow on everyone else while leaving us
without even much ice to slip on

Wind Chill

Toronto is all like
hey
let’s have September in the middle of December this year
so the temperature goes up to 17°C
and all the trees start wondering
if maybe they should put out some buds sometime soon

Lethbridge is all like
hey
SCREW YOU IT’S DECEMBER AND IT’S COLD AND IT’S SNOWING AND THAT’S HOW I LIKE IT
and everybody puts on three parkas
and dreams of spring