Fulfilment

I dropped a penny
into a well
and wished for a unicorn

Later that day
I dropped my ice cream
in a puddle

It’s nice when you
get everything
you want

Sure

It was not what you thought
for it was not a purple unicorn
and you were absolutely sure
it was a purple unicorn
but it was green
bright green
and more of a goat than a unicorn
and it stood as a metaphor
for human relations
which worked out well
for all concerned

Punchy

You are punchy
and so is your unicorn
so please remove her
before she and the parrot
turn growling into an art form

That
would be bad

Behind

Being behind on everything
is like a unicorn
because everything is like a unicorn
when you’re behind on everything

Anticipation

O unicorn knees
I long for you
with a longing
greater than science
thicker than parsley
and more powerful than disdain

You are my one
my only
my everything
and the metaphors you produce
feed my soul

You are not finished
being amazing
and I am not finished
this hotdog

Go back to your unicorn
beloved unicorn knees
and permanently
break my heart

Not a Good Plan

I doubt
you can catch
a unicorn
with a bottle of bleach
and some raspberries

Then again
it’s likely
no one has
ever tried
that before

Okay
yeah
go for it

Insomnia

I remember
being able to sleep

It was nice
while it lasted

Maybe I’ll begin
hallucinating unicorns

I hope they’re
the big scary ones

Down with
unicorn cuteness

Olympics

sportsing sportsing sportsing
so vitally important
all the sportsing everywhere
and the sportsing medals
and the unicorns
as unicorns are good at sportsing
though they have to be careful
with inflatable balls
so much sportsing
and triumph
and nationalism
hurrah

Bad Poetry

The poems
are still as terrible
as they were in the beginning

But there seem
to be fewer
unicorns in them now

Why
unicorns
why

Why have you
abandoned my
poetry

Where have you
gone
you sexy beasts

My weeping
for the unicorns
tears the world

And creates
yet another
bad poem

What a Pretty Day It Is

What a pretty day it is
with the sun shining
and the birds singing
and the unicorns

I am frolicking in traffic
because it’s such a pretty day
and the cars are bouncing around me
with the unicorns

I don’t need clothes today
for clothes are restrictive
and keep me too far away
from the unicorns

Please punch me in the face
so I can stop obsessing over sunshine
and can finally pay less attention
to the unicorns