Wow

When a tooth extraction
goes horribly wrong
and you spend a week downing
so many pain meds
that you’re pretty sure you’ve given yourself an ulcer
and you have to sing in the evening
and it’s 34̊C plus humidity
and your face feels like half of it is melting into a puddle of pain
and the postal lady won’t let you mail your packages
because she says they’re too heavy and they’ll cost you too much and
one of them is going to Japan
for crying out loud
and you have twenty-three customs forms to fill in
plus eighteen more later on
but you can’t concentrate on that because of the appalling pain
and your dentist can’t see you for another forty minutes
generally you just write a terrible poem
and hope for the best.

Rule #1

The first rule of summer
is that you will catch an awful cold in the middle of it
and the cold will involve a headache
and the headache will stop you from doing the things
you would normally do while having an awful cold
and at one point
you will attempt to listen to Stephen Fry’s audiobook version
of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone on YouTube
and you will get a chapter in and find it very funny
but then someone will take it down because you’re actually supposed to be paying for it
and then you will be sad because you didn’t even get to the bit about the closet
and your head still hurts and you want to be drawing comics
and maybe writing a book or something but there’s a cold in the way
and you keep wondering about Harry Potter and all the people in cloaks
and you probably have a fever
which is terrible

Time Flies

Will you please slow down, July?
I would like this summer to last forever
but it is going crazy fast
and soon it will be September
and the marking will begin again,
the terrible terrible marking.

July, I need to punch you in the face with Time
so you will become afraid of it
and go hide under a bench somewhere.
And then I need to do something productive
instead of sitting around
wishing it wasn’t mid-July already.

August:
stay the hell out of my life
and let July last for a little bit longer.
I am not ready
to let it go.

Dentist

you are very nice to me
you say all the right things
you look in all the right places
you seem
supremely knowledgeable
on the subject of teeth

it’s just that
I can’t help but remember the time
the metal ring sprang loose and went down my throat
and stuck there
and then there was the screaming and the crying
and the slobbering and more screaming
every time the involuntary swallowing happened
and the paramedics were called
and the other patients came to look at me
and it was all rather terrible

but now I trust you
oh yes
and you should know that
despite how white
my knuckles are right now