Fish in Spring

I do not approve of
fish in summer

Fish in spring
are much hungrier

Hunger is
a sign of virtue

You should be
a fish in spring

We should all be
fish in spring

Advertisements

Gather Ye Rosebuds

Damn you
summer
why do you pass so quickly
why do you fly
like the opposite of molasses
summer
why can’t you stay for a while
while can’t you have a second cup of coffee
why are you in such a rush
summer
like a punch in the face
in season form
summer
why

Delicate Spring

Spring is spNEVER MIND
IT’S SUMMER
SUMMER IS HERE
IT’S GOING TO BE HOT AND HUMID FOREVER
HA HA
SILLY HUMAN
PUT AWAY THAT SWEATER
YOU’LL NEVER USE IT AGAIN
THERE ARE NO SWEATERS HERE
AND NO SOCKS

But it’s still only MaHA HA HA HA NO
YOU LOSE
CRY BABY CRY
I HOPE YOUR WIFI SIGNAL
REACHES YOUR BACKYARD
OH HEY IT DOESN’T
YOU ARE SUCH A SUCKER

When is it going to be faIT’S NOT
SO STOP LIVING IN HOPE
IT WILL BE SUMMER
UNTIL THE END OF TIME
NOW LET’S SEE SOME REJOICING
REJOICE
MONKEY
REJOICE

Plus Humidity

Oh look
32̊C
that’s not that bad
I’m sure it will be fine
and we’ll frolic in the sunshine
with puppies and porpoises

81% humidity
is surely not that big a deal
probably just a blip in the readings
so let’s get to that frolicking
and maybe some vigorous dancing

I don’t understand why I feel
as if someone has sucked
all the energy out of the world
with a straw made of steaming water

too hot
must melt
brain fried

hope lost
no puppies

help me

Rule #1

The first rule of summer
is that you will catch an awful cold in the middle of it
and the cold will involve a headache
and the headache will stop you from doing the things
you would normally do while having an awful cold
and at one point
you will attempt to listen to Stephen Fry’s audiobook version
of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone on YouTube
and you will get a chapter in and find it very funny
but then someone will take it down because you’re actually supposed to be paying for it
and then you will be sad because you didn’t even get to the bit about the closet
and your head still hurts and you want to be drawing comics
and maybe writing a book or something but there’s a cold in the way
and you keep wondering about Harry Potter and all the people in cloaks
and you probably have a fever
which is terrible