Trailer

OH MY GOD THIS IS THE BEST TRAILER EVER
it’s so full of things
and people
and fragments of dialogue
and a soundtrack that won’t be used in the film itself
but SCREW IT this trailer is awesome
I am in love with it
it can do no wrong

Well
maybe that’s not true
maybe that one bit didn’t really work for me
and I don’t know about the protagonist
and was that really a pun?
Is this movie making puns now?
I don’t want to see it if there are puns
or clichés
or expository speeches

I can’t believe this trailer is so terrible
I’ve been waiting for it for weeks
and it lasted almost two minutes
and I don’t even know if I want to rewatch it
for a fourteenth time
since it’s doing things all wrong
and everyone needs to know that

Though actually
it’s not bad
and I bet the movie will be amazing
and OH MY GOD IT’S ANOTHER TRAILER

I wonder
what this one will be like

Spoilers

Well
that was [censored]
I really [censored] the part where the [censored] found the [censored]
and it was great that the [censored] was [censored]
and when it turned out that [censored] was actually [censored]
just after [censored]
I wanted to scream
[Censored]
at the top of my [censored]

I think you’ll really [censored] it
and should probably be prepared for [censored]
though if rumours are true
[censored] will all be [censored] in the [censored]

Inattentive

In the end
the gods entirely missed the moment the mighty hero
overcome by hubris
propelled himself into an inevitable spiral of disaster
culminating in self-mutilation
the destruction of a great nation
and quite a lot of agonised soliloquizing
all of which would have far-reaching repercussions
and remake the political structure of several distinct societies
over the course of the next three centuries

Apollo had scored everyone Star Wars tickets
so understandably
divine attention was elsewhere

Weird Dream

I had a weird dream
about Anakin Skywalker
growing up in my old house
alongside Luke Skywalker
who had time-travelled backwards for some reason
and was cautiously getting to know his father
except both of them were like ten or something
and other nefarious things were happening too
in fact
there was this whole super complicated plot
but I can’t remember what it was
except that Anakin was kind of shady
and wasn’t very nice to Luke
and everybody was on the stairs at some point for some reason
and all the characters were male
which probably means my subconscious mind is sexist

Voted

The defeat of the evil wizard
in the middle of a thunderstorm
as a crucial sports team won a crucial game
and the people rejoiced
at hints of the continuation of a beloved epic
was overly appropriate
highly symbolic
and extremely
narratively
satisfying