I Am Sad

I am sad
and you are not
and you have caused
my sadness
and are happy
that I am sad
and thus my anger
overrides my sadness
making you sad
that I am not sad
and angry
that I am angry
so I become happy
that you are sad
and satisfied
that you are angry
and thus the cycle
begins again

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Tooth of Wisdom

Goodbye
wisdom tooth
it was sad to see you go
even though you apparently
had a huge cavity
that was eventually going to start hurting
a lot

Now there is only
a gaping hole
that occasionally gushes blood
possibly because I think the stitches fell out like half an hour after the extraction
a gaping hole
that signifies
my heart

My dentist asked me
if I wanted to keep you afterwards
because I guess he once had a patient who got really upset
when the assistant threatened
to throw his tooth away

But I didn’t even bid you farewell

I just went home
and grimaced a lot
since my face was so frozen
that for a long time
I couldn’t even feel my right ear

Brain Fart

She spells her name with an “i”
not a “y”
an “i”
not a “y”
so naturally
I used both
consecutively
in the same sentence
without realising
and now have to redo a bunch of work
and am sad
so sad
because she spells her name with an “i”
not a “y”
and I
did not notice
the difference

Rule #1

The first rule of summer
is that you will catch an awful cold in the middle of it
and the cold will involve a headache
and the headache will stop you from doing the things
you would normally do while having an awful cold
and at one point
you will attempt to listen to Stephen Fry’s audiobook version
of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone on YouTube
and you will get a chapter in and find it very funny
but then someone will take it down because you’re actually supposed to be paying for it
and then you will be sad because you didn’t even get to the bit about the closet
and your head still hurts and you want to be drawing comics
and maybe writing a book or something but there’s a cold in the way
and you keep wondering about Harry Potter and all the people in cloaks
and you probably have a fever
which is terrible