The title of this poem
is a pun
that would have worked better
if I had posted it
earlier in the day

I don’t even like puns
but here I am
putting a bad one
in the title of
a poem

It’s a completely pointless
pun that only
exists because
I am tired
and tomorrow is Monday

Perhaps I should
go to bed
and stop building bewildering
puns into the titles
of poems that don’t matter to anyone


The apuncalypse started on Twitter
then spread through all the social media sites
until it had overwhelmed everyone
even the angry old men who didn’t believe in puns
and the teenagers too awesome for puns
and that one lady who always stared blankly at the barista as he chirped
“It’s pumpkin spice to meet you!”

The world is grimmer now
the streets more dangerous
the math classes less willing to take the names of triangles at face value
and while the resistance fights back
it is far too little
far too late
for the enemy
has already pun

You see
what I did there


My last attempt
to make a pun
ended in the near-complete destruction
of a six-block stretch
of a major urban thoroughfare
concurrent with the opening
of a portal to another dimension
inhabitant by hostile
sub-human lizard people

So maybe I should just
write a sonnet or something