There Were No Potatoes in the Garden

The garden was full
of tangled blossoms
twining together
inseparable
imbued with such meaning
that everyone who saw them
immediately began to write poetry
while Wordsworth watched from a distance
nodding in satisfaction

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Meaningful

Your footprints are meaningful
because of what they mean

I devoured a potato
in a metaphorical manner

There is no chimney
on the rooftop of life

Small is the opposite
of happy

When you lose the contest
try to win the war

Potato

My potato
is going to be king
with the sceptre and the crown and everything
because it answered the riddles
and completed the impossible tasks
and won the princess
which is actually pretty good
for a potato

Your potato
is terrible
while mine has accomplished all the things
and thus your potato
should slink away home in shame

All hail the potato
king of potatoes
wielder of the rule of law
singer of the song

It is hard for the princess
though
as every time she glances
at her potato husband
her stomach
begins to growl

Return of the Horse Potatoes

HORSE POTATOES
IN MY BASEMENT
IN CAPITAL LETTERS
WITHOUT PUNCTUATION
STEALING CHILDREN
CREATING PHONE APPS
EXORCISING DEMONS
BORROWING FROM YEATS
DO NOT APPROACH THEM
DO NOT OFFEND THEM
THEY ARE THE HORSE POTATOES
OUR POTATO OVERLORDS
AND WE APPRECIATE
ALL THEY HAVE DONE