Tuesday Narrows Its Eyes

Tuesday narrows it eyes
and looks suspiciously
at all the other days
which seem to it
to be up to something nefarious

Some believe
Tuesday was traumatised as a child
by always coming right after Monday
and now approaches life
with deliberate cynicism
though if you ask
it will deny that

Tuesday will slide out of sight
and give way to Wednesday
but it will do so with such subtlety
that no one will realise
it was ever there at all

Heeeere’s Monday

We all expect it
we know it’s coming
but still
it shocks us when it’s here
dead-eyed Monday
spreading horror
via six a.m. wake-up calls
bleary-eyed runs towards lagging transit
desperate longing
for Sunday’s return
as we stifle the suspicion
that beneath the forbidding exterior
Monday is clapping its hands
and laughing

Sadly Sunday

Sunday sits
prim and proper
making moues with its mouth
knowing no one
looks with longing
on a day so dastardly
it winds up the weekend
and robs even rebels
of jumping joy
but at least a little
of Sunday’s sourness
is naughtily negated
by the candid coming
of maniacal Monday


Garfield hates Mondays
for no particular reason
as Garfield is a cat
and all days are alike to him
but I feel about Mondays
as a raccoon feels
while it is staring into the headlights
of the truck
that is half a second away
from turning it
into a road pancake

The Rain Is Raining

Look at the rain raining
from the rainclouds
no cannibal rainbows this time
just rain rain
rain rain

Why are there so many
poems about rainfall
and is it plagiarism if
you change two important words

How profound the rain is
as it rains on people
who seem surprised to see it
as if the rain is a personal insult
especially on a Monday

Rebel against the tyranny of sky-water
and long for the coming of the endless heat of summer
which will leave you complaining vociferously for weeks

Fridays Are Boring

When I say Fridays are boring
you think I am crazy
but no
I am clever
for Fridays are not boring
and yet I say they are

My vastly superior brain
is full of sly reversals
and attempts to frustrate your desire
for the world to be safe
and predictable
and full of wonderful Fridays

I shall tell your that Mondays are exciting
and watch the light of hope
die in your eyes