look at all
the little plastic dinosaurs
rampaging over
the coffee table
in pursuit of
the ukulele string
that accidentally ensnared
the crocheted octopus
in the middle
of the sea of essays
that should really
be back in my office



Sumer is icumen in
lhude sing holy crap it’s hot
it’s so hot
the birds don’t land on the sidewalk
for fear of blistering their tiny feet
so hot
it’s possible to collect enough sweat in a little jar
to pickle an entire egg
so hot
people are posting pictures of cars trapped in snow
and mocking us for complaining about the heat
damn you
damn you to hell
along with the rest of ancient Mesopotamia


Porcupine of terror
why do you burrow into
the folds of my brain
and nest there
all day
every day
until I am ready
to stomp on your evil little head
with steel-toed boots?

No song deserves this
no brain deserves this
no brain deserves this song
damn song
I say

You are punching me in the cerebral cortex with music
and I cannot approve

Tiny Buckets

pitter patter
pitter patter
tiny buckets on my lawn
with the eyes
the eyes
the eyes
of horror

watch the little buckets
tiny buckets
eat the pony
why little buckets why
why the pony
my pony
the pony of my dreams

tiny buckets of my heart
make it end
make the lawn
all soft and smooth and happy

Cat Video

little black cat on YouTube
lost and alone in a
sea of little black cats on YouTube

YouTube is a cat competition venue
a bloody arena scattered with the metaphorical corpses
of cat videos pitted against each other in the cuteness wars

and the prize
is love

why do you not love me?
says the little black cat on YouTube
as yet another viewer clicks “dislike”