Fall asleep on couch
make neck feel bad
make back feel like neck
make world go round
go round
go round
make duck find love
make children cry
punch a tree in its face
notice trees have faces
the universe is coming apart
nothing makes sense any more
my knee is the new emperor
and all the greeting cards are on sale

Pencil-Eating Apartment

I have lost
another mechanical pencil
by leaving it on my couch for two minutes
and returning to find it gone

There is nowhere
it could be
and no one
who could have taken it

I’m pretty sure
my apartment has attained sentience
and taken against my pencils
for unspecified reasons

is a missing mechanical pencil
in an apartment
imbued with malevolence


There is an ocarina
behind my couch cushions
a ceramic ocarina
on a string
I forgot I owned it
but there it is

Now it is sitting on top of my couch
which I think is where it started
and doubtless it will soon
slip behind the cushions again

This is a metaphor
for life


O sock
why do you taunt me
from your place
on top of a book
on top of my couch?
In fact
why are you there at all?
Where did you come from
and where is the second sock
that presumably goes with you?
I didn’t even realise
I had any purple socks at all
and don’t remember wearing you recently.
Is there something sinister about you
O sock?

Where Are My Books?

Where are they?
I cannot find them.
Perhaps the squirrels have stolen them
like in that picture book
is sitting on top of my couch
for some reason
so that I see it every morning
and always have the urge
to write a poem about it

I suppose
I just spoiled the picture book
for everyone who has not read it yet
which is unfortunate
and cruel of me
but for crying out loud
where are my books?
It seems odd that I cannot find them
as I have several thousand
and they generally end up in piles
all over my floor

I hope I am not attacked
by legions of rabid picture-book fans
and squirrels
angry that I have given away the twist ending
and/or the nefarious cunning of squirrels everywhere
but let’s face it
we already knew about the squirrels

Please tell me if you find my books
and my shoes
and my plane ticket
and the joy I take in marking term papers
and my pants
oh yes
but obviously
my books
most of all