The World’s Most Comfortable Seat Cushion

than chocolate
than smooth jazz
more magnificent
than one of those tiny ponies
O cushion
of loveliness
my buttocks
with your whispery softness
you stunning
of science


One of Those Days

this fish
is certainly not
what I meant to trip on this morning
and I had no clue
I would end up at the bottom
of the world’s longest staircase
being photographed by twelve reporters
who have gathered to witness
the coming of a benevolent alien race
known for its astounding chocolate

I guess
you can just never tell
what’s going to happen

Deadlines Are Scary

Deadlines are scary
and covered with chocolate
though sometimes not
because of how scary they are

Badgers are not deadlines
though they could be
as badgers have the power
to be anything they like

I am a badger
but not a deadline
and not scary
except on Tuesdays

I need a deadline
to save me from the badgers
the terrible badgers
with chocolate on their claws

Getting Up Early

Getting up early
is like a box of chocolates
that is not really a box of chocolates
maybe a bit more like a box of rattlesnakes
not baby rattlesnakes either
but fully matured adults
that are almost eight feet long
so getting up early
is like a really big box of quite large rattlesnakes
with scorpions on top