Breakfast

Multi-Grain Cheerios
why are you sweeter
than regular Cheerios?

Aren’t you supposed
to be healthy? Isn’t that
what you’re for?

Why would you tease us
with the hint of healthfulness
then bring on the sugar?

You disappoint me
Multi-Grain Cheerios
though you are also quite delicious

And admittedly
I keep using you as a snack food
and not saving you for breakfast at all

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In Bed

Help
help
I am trapped in a warm bed
and have been for some time

If I don’t find a way out of it
I’ll be late for work
and no one will be available
to teach my students about thesis statements

This is reaching
a crisis point
for my bed
is simply not letting me go

If anyone can hear me
send breakfast
and someone to scold me
about my life choices

Owl Picture

Hello
owl in photograph
you are sitting in a tree
and you have in your claws
a fish
still attached to a fishing line

Are you the king of madness
owl in photograph?
Do you manipulate worlds
with your strange owl mind
and steal fish from everyone
without compunction?

Or are you just an owl
that is about to have
a tasty fish breakfast?

Let me know

I’m not going anywhere
and your picture
is hanging
on my wall

Rainbows

I woke up this morning
and there were rainbows all over the Internet
seriously
rainbows everywhere
on all the pages
and bouncing all over Twitter
and sneaking into the Facebook avatars
all rainbow-like

and I thought
hey weird
I wonder what’s up with all these rainbows
and I went to have breakfast
and blowed if there weren’t rainbows in my cereal
and floating in my glass of orange juice

huh
I said
this seems like a trend
and I turned around to find
that my clothes had turned into rainbows
which has admittedly become a bit of a problem
so if anyone has some pants I can borrow
please let me know

I have managed to turn one of the rainbows—
the one that used to be my bathroom door—
into an awesome laser that also makes little tiny unicorns
so now I have unicorns all over my apartment
and they are five inches high and like to cuddle in my rainbow blankets
as we binge-watch ‘80s TV on Netflix

I am expecting eventually the rainbows will become less obvious
and the unicorns will wander off to form a civilisation
and I will get my pants back
but for now
it’s kind of fun to have rainbows everywhere
and no pants anywhere
and extra unicorns for all

Significant Bird

Chase the robin
find the robin
catch the robin
keep the robin
hold the robin
beautiful robin
robin of meaning
robin of darkness
eat the robin
breakfast robin
robin sandwich
full of mustard
belch the robin
robin of sadness
wear the robin
teach the robin
feel the robin
plotting inside you
vengeful robin
making you happy