You are not the one
who will save the world
from the man with the axe
or the woman with the spear
you are not the one
who will save that cat
from its perch in the tree
or the other cat’s claws
you are not the one
who will save yourself
from the sanctimony
of this bad poem


He accidentally posted
as his cat
prompting puzzled followers
to ask
why Mr. McFluffikins
had such strong opinions
on American politics
and the economic importance
of renewable fuel sources

Mr. McFluffikins
of course

Neither of them
will ever be done
apologising for this

Weekend’s End

O weekend
you lying bastard
why must you promise
such stretches of glorious free time
then deliver a bunch of urgent deadlines
supplemented by fifteen minutes of Netflix?

Maybe you could
answer my e-mails for me
especially the ones with whining in them

But oh no
I see you would rather smirk
and stick your tongue out
and make me feel terrible about myself

How I hate you

Bad Poem

In celebration
of National Bad Poetry Day
I have written a bad poem
National Bad Poetry Day
by referring to it explicitly
an unnecessary number of times
and not pretending
it is about something else

I am not sure which nation
celebrates National Bad Poetry Day
though I am suspecting
not mine
which probably makes this poem
even worse

Happy National Bad Poetry Day
all you bad poets
intentional and otherwise

May your verse forms
never be noticeable
and your metaphors
always forced