Mother of Dinglehoppers

I am the Mother of Dinglehoppers
and I and my dinglehoppers
will take the throne
because of destiny
and because this
is the dinglehopper way
so cower
mortals
cower
before me
and my dinglehoppers
and your destiny
may be almost as awesome
as ours

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The Fun Bit Is Yet to Come

The fun bit is yet to come
after the hard bit
and the scary bit
and the bit with the screaming and the running and Michelle hiding in the outhouse with the axe
but the fun bit will happen
yes it will
and the other bits
will all have been worth it

Yes

yes
I accept the offer
yes
I am your brother
yes
we are on a sailing vessel
yes
the captain is an alien
yes
that’s no moon
yes
I have an eldritch sword
yes
the galaxy trembles as I subject it to a brutal dictatorship built on magic and fear
yes
we meet in a restaurant

No

You are not the one
who will save the world
from the man with the axe
or the woman with the spear
you are not the one
who will save that cat
from its perch in the tree
or the other cat’s claws
you are not the one
who will save yourself
from the sanctimony
of this bad poem