Baffling

In the dregs of August
we can only ask:
what is the fate of the porpoise?

We need it
and love it
as it lurks in its hot tub
but we don’t understand
why it has made
the choices it has made

Cherish and nurture the porpoise
the wonderful porpoise
with cereal breath
and a five-o’clock shadow

The porch you get
is never
the porch you want

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Mysterious Package

Where are you from
mysterious package
and why did someone
use that expensive courier
with the out-of-the-way pick-up point
to send you from one location in this city
to another location in this city?

I shall not know until tomorrow
as you are still at the out-of-the-way pick-up point
and I am not

You are confusing
mysterious package
as is life

Madam, There’s a Vampire in My Pudding

Madam
there’s a vampire in my pudding
and I am shocked
and somewhat offended
by this problematic happenstance

You know very well
that I ordered my pudding with werewolves
plural
not a single lonely vampire
with stubby little fangs and no evening dress

I would suggest
you chastise your kitchen staff
and find out who is responsible
for this massive
unforgivable error

I shall accept
your apology
and a free banshee sundae
as long as nothing like this
ever happens again