What to Do With Leftover Cheese

1) Eat it immediately

2) Use it
along with a clever cipher based
on the phases of the moon
to start a revolution

3) Comb its hair
and tell it it’s beautiful
just the way it is

4) Mine its metaphorical properties
for deep poetic significance

5) Throw it at a politician

6) Throw it away from a politician
who doesn’t deserve it

7) Punch it in the face
because it has disrespected you

8) Teach it to play
the theme song
of your favourite television programme

9) Betray it
before it betrays you

10) Don’t be silly

There’s no such thing
as leftover cheese

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