Delicate Spring

Spring is spNEVER MIND
IT’S SUMMER
SUMMER IS HERE
IT’S GOING TO BE HOT AND HUMID FOREVER
HA HA
SILLY HUMAN
PUT AWAY THAT SWEATER
YOU’LL NEVER USE IT AGAIN
THERE ARE NO SWEATERS HERE
AND NO SOCKS

But it’s still only MaHA HA HA HA NO
YOU LOSE
CRY BABY CRY
I HOPE YOUR WIFI SIGNAL
REACHES YOUR BACKYARD
OH HEY IT DOESN’T
YOU ARE SUCH A SUCKER

When is it going to be faIT’S NOT
SO STOP LIVING IN HOPE
IT WILL BE SUMMER
UNTIL THE END OF TIME
NOW LET’S SEE SOME REJOICING
REJOICE
MONKEY
REJOICE

Fan

I have acquired
a little fan
and I must praise it
ALL HAIL THE LITTLE FAN
which at least gives the impression
of making it less unbearably hot
even if it’s really just
moving the warm air around

Bad Poetry

The poems
are still as terrible
as they were in the beginning

But there seem
to be fewer
unicorns in them now

Why
unicorns
why

Why have you
abandoned my
poetry

Where have you
gone
you sexy beasts

My weeping
for the unicorns
tears the world

And creates
yet another
bad poem

Knee

O knee
you hurt so much
and I do not know why
KNEE
please stop
stop with the pain
stop with the screaming
and the plotting
against the King Under the Mountain
I can hear you
knee
I CAN HEAR YOU SO WELL
and you will never get away with this
never
never
never