The Happy Farmer

Today
Emma
we are playing a piece called
“The Happy Farmer”
now start slowly
hands separately
and make that farmer dance through his fields
as he

wait
Emma
what are you doing
your farmer doesn’t sound happy
he is trudging along
and occasionally tripping over rocks
make him dance
Emma
for he is a happy farmer
and this is his song

for crying out loud
Emma
he’s not a staggering drunken farmer
he’s a HAPPY FARMER
stop mooshing his eighth notes together like that
you really don’t understand farming at all
do you
Emma

oh
great
now you’re crying
you’re crying and the farmer is deeply unhappy
and so am I
EMMA
I get paid peanuts to sit with you for half an hour
and pretend you have anything resembling musical talent
and you can’t put forth a tiny bit of effort
and play this song with overwhelming joy
the joy of the farmer
the happiness of the agrarian

I think
Emma
we may need a bit of a break from each other
so you can think long and hard
about the farmer’s happiness
and your own life choices

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