Flight Anticipation

Oh goody
time for airports
and flight delays
and accidental staplers left in carry-on luggage
and realising I’ve forgotten Item X
and hours of growing anxiety that someone has broken into my apartment and destroyed it
and a seat next to someone who openly laughs at my reading material
and arrival in Toronto after all the restaurants and grocery stories have closed
and lost luggage
and fear of flying
and jet lag
and grumpiness

It must be Thursday
I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Police Procedural

I decided to make a TV show
about a girl with magical powers
from a family with magical powers
and actually
all the characters had magical powers
and griffins for pets
and the studio said
that’s pretty good
but maybe the girl could be a cop
and her cop boyfriend could be the protagonist
and it could be set in Chicago
with no magical powers at all


It is hard to describe an egg
without calling it egg shaped
and when you try
you generally end up using the word “oval”
which is not adequate
and may be a metaphor for something


How silly you are being
O weather
unable to decide
whether to be really freaking cold
or just sort of pretty cold
and popping back and forth between the two
with blowing snow everywhere the whole time
though maybe it will be rain later
who knows?
You certainly don’t


Merry Christmas
I’m sure you’re having a great day
of course
Krampus snatched up your children last night
and beat them with a bundle of birch rods
and shoved them in his sack
and carted them off to Hell

if he did that
your children probably deserved it
and possibly you are currently slightly relieved
and have quietly confiscated the candy you were going to give your children
and are eating it in front of the TV
while not being interrupted
by bratty screams of anger
at presents that are the wrong shade of aquamarine

I hope Hell
has a beautiful sunrise