You Only Live Twice

Dear Ian Fleming:

Is it really necessary
to spend eight pages
listing poisonous plants
and their properties
in the middle of your spy novel?

I understand
that you are proud of your research
which you have also demonstrated
by going to Japan for two weeks
and then constantly declaring
how inferior it is
but there is no earthly reason
I should have to read a list of plants
and find out
how they all kill people

I suppose
it does make a nice break from
the sexist racist homophobic xenophobia
but it also detracts from the bits where
just for instance
James Bond skis down a mountain
chased by several mooks and an entire avalanche
and that is less of a relief

These plants
better all come into the story later on
and I do mean every single one of them
in alphabetical order
with footnotes


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