Please refrain from wearing
that low-cut biohazard suit
in front of your colleagues;
you are triggering hormonal responses
that interfere with their ability
not to obsess over your potential
as a temporary or permanent sexual partner.
we notice that you smiled at David yesterday.
Perhaps you might consider
curbing your own sexual urges
as you pose provocatively
over your dangerous chemicals,
We are a little afraid to send you this note,
as we fear your inevitable tears
will fall into the solution in front of you and
provoke a chemical reaction
that will ultimately result in
the eradication of all sentient life.
Please take precautions by wearing a full face mask and goggles,
and make sure your bottom does not waggle
as you run emotionally to the bathroom
to be a total girl about it all.