Many poets aspire to write good poetry. I used to be one of them. However, I quickly realised that while I was very bad at writing good poetry, I was very good indeed at writing bad poetry. I was so good at it, in fact, that it flowed out of me like foetid waters dredged from the nightmares of disappointed squirrels. That last sentence is a good demonstration of how bad my poetry can be and how little I am able to control it. I produce bad poetry the way other people produce YouTube comments, and to very similar effect.
I have decided that I cannot deprive the world of my gift. We all deserve poetry so bad that it would shock and horrify the Vogons. Life is drabber, albeit ever so slightly less painful, without it.
Every day, I shall write a terrible poem and post it here. I have two already because I’m just that awful. Please assume crash positions, and try not to weep.
Cecily Q. Cauliflower